


Ukiyo

by SoleneAlice



Category: unOrdinary (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author can't write summaries, Crying, Depression, Developing Relationship, Eating Disorder (Mentioned), F/M, Helping Each Other, If the summary is too long clap your hands: clap clap, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Panic Attacks, Recovery, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trust Issues, Trying to have a relationship while also trying to get better mentally and making it work, Violence, What was I thinking while writing this? I honestly don't know, idk what else I should tag, kinda slow burn, tbh those two are just trying to get better and feel better but it's not easy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 11:27:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20965787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoleneAlice/pseuds/SoleneAlice
Summary: ❝ People say that we live in a cruel world, but I beg to differ. We live in a beautiful world, just filled with cruel people ❞Everything is silent.Everything feels numb.Empty blue eyes, a bitter laugh and tears. So many tears.Pathetic.Aren't you supposed to be perfect? The smartest, strongest, perfect? That is who you should be, yet here you are on your knees.Wellston's ace, the strongest and now the weakest, the smartest of them all was fooled.By him.Pathetic.That's who she is.A failure, disappointment, stupid, weak. Everything she never wanted to be."What would your parents think if they saw their daughter like this?", Ilena's words rang through her head. They were right. They are right -(Full summary is in the authors note because it's too long)





	1. Silence Louder Than Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> Summary part two:
> 
> It's loud.
> 
> Why is it so loud?
> 
> Voices echoing in his head, so many words being said and it's becoming louder and louder, it's so much it's too much he-
> 
> "Disappointment!", one said, "He's so weak!", another one roared, "Loser", a quite whisper but-
> 
> Why does it hurt so much? Why does her so much about what they think? Why is he such a disappointment?  
Why, why, why-
> 
> His breathing becomes faster and faster, he feels like he can't breathe and he feels so cold, his chest becomes tighter and tear are prickling in his eyes and he can't move, panic arises and it feels like he is dying.
> 
> And it suddenly stops.
> 
> 'You're a disappointment, pathetic, weak, you don't deserve to stand next to them you-',  
Stop, stop.  
'How could you ever think that you could protect them?'  
Stop!  
'Pathetic, can't even win a single fight, can't even be there for his friends, a disappointment-'  
PLEASE JUST STOP- 
> 
> He's trembling at this point, hands clinging at his head just begging the voice to just shut up, shut up, shut uP-
> 
> Weak, disappointment, failure, disgusting, pathetic, you don't deserve them as friends.  
That's right, he doesn't deserve them. 
> 
> His eyes feel heavy and they are burning, he feels like he is about to cry. He is biting his lip, so hard as to draw blood, no, he won't cry. He has already reached one low point, he won't cry-  
Tears are falling down, dripping onto the floor.  
Weak, that's who he is.

**„What would it take for things to be quiet?**

**Quiet, like the snow**

**That we meant to be empty-handed**

**I know I could I could be better”**

* * *

Ukiyo;

[u-key-yo] •Japanese

(n). living in the moment

detached from the bothers of life

“The floating world”

* * *

It's cold.

She feels so cold.

The room is warm but everything in her body isn't. Her body is aching, practically begging her to get up and move after sitting in the same position for so long.

She won't.

She can't.

She feels so cold and numb, worse than ever before. The pain in her heart replaced by a numb cold aftertaste of what happened, it felt like she was slowly dying.

<strike>But is she really dying? How would she know?</strike>

And it's silent.

It's silent but not in her mind.

She would've preffered everything over this silence. This cold dead silence, it was destructive. Silent yet loud, this silence was cruel.

Her mind is overflowing with questions and it's killing her. She wants it to stop. Just wants to stop thinking. Never wants to think again. All these thoughts in her mind killing her slowly and they are all about him.

<strike>It's like he is killing her without him even knowing it.</strike>

<strike> _But maybe he does, maybe he knows and slowly kills her without her having ever known. Maybe he was always doing so. Maybe he's laughing at her, at how pathetic she is._ </strike>

<strike> _No! He wouldn't- he wouldn't? But what if he would? How could she possibly know?_ </strike>

He lied after all.

_He lied,_

_he lied to **her**._

John lied and Arlo told the truth. The irony, a bitter laugh breaks through the silence before it disappears again, she always thought that Arlo was the liar and that John was the one with no one secrets.

<strike> _Wasn't she supposed to be the smart one, raised to be better, stronger and smarter than everyone else...?_ </strike>

But instead she believed the liar and turned her back on the one who told the truth.

She starts laughing, but it isn't happy, it is bitterness that made it's way into her mind, betrayal, hurt, anger and pain is all the laugh holds.

She doesn't stop laughing.

Her eyes are burning, they feel heavy and she is trying to hold the tears in but she just can't. Tears are flowing from her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. She is sobbing, crying harder than before, and still laughing.

<strike> _What a mess she is_ </strike>

Bitter sobs wrack through her body and she falls from the chair she just sat in seconds ago.

And she quiets down again. Tears still dripping down onto the ground.

She is silently crying. All alone, with no one to help her.

Her fault.

It was all only her fault and now everyone pays for it.

She wishes that she could just turn time back, go back to when all she needed to be was perfect little Seraphina.

<strike>Back then when all she needed to worry about were _p e r f e c t_ grades and power.</strike>

It was all easier back then.

<strike>But was it really?</strike>

And now everyone pays for her mistakes, everyone is hurt because of _her_.

Arlo and Isen both needed to stay in the infirmary for some days and Remi just woke up in the hospital..

And everyone else is scared.

She was the srongest, she could've- what? 

Could've done what? What could she have actually done after losing her ability?

Nothing.

_<strike>Exactly</strike>_.

Her eyes are red but she isn't crying anymore. She feels only numb.

She turns her face back to the one still lying inconsciously in the hospital bed.

_»I'm so sorry«_

..and yet you still didn't wake up

* * *

**„I don't think I deserve it**

**selflessness find your way into my heart**

**All stars could be brighter**

**All hearts could be warmer**

**What would it take for things to be quiet?**

**Find your way into my heart**

**What would it take for things to be quiet?**

**Find your way into my heart**

**What would it take for things to be quiet?”**


	2. Chapter 2

_ <strike>chapter two will be up soon, ao3 is just a lil' confusing rn and doesn't want to show 1/? chapters so I just decided to make this, my apologies.</strike> _

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone who bothered to read this.  
Now, as you read, this is both a reading preview and the first chapter of a new fanfiction that I'll write. While I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter, I think it's a good start.  
The fanfiction "Ukiyo" will focus on Sera and Blyke and a lot of mental health issues, and the story line is happening after the final joker fight.


End file.
